About Temperament:

Temperament is a set of inborn characteristics such as sensitivity, activity, intensity and adaptability. It’s the way we do what we do, our style, the how rather than the why of behavior. There are strengths and challenges in all varieties of temperament. Moderate temperaments are more common than extremes, and thus are generally more familiar. All variations of temperament are normal.

The Significance of Temperament:

The wealth of readily available parenting information tends to focus on temperamentally-moderate children. Any number of parenting responses are likely to work well with these children. Families that need the most support in understanding their children and finding best responses have the fewest resources. The field of temperament isn’t new and research is ongoing; yet, many people - both lay and professional - are unaware of the term and its significance.

Psychologist Elaine Aron found that the majority of clients in therapy are highly sensitive. This is not because being highly sensitive is abnormal. Moderate temperaments are often seen as the norm rather than a variation of normal so that highly sensitive people often feel or have been told they are too sensitive. Getting support from a professional who is knowledgeable about temperament can help to make sense of one’s own variation of normal and explore life choices and responses that are a personal best fit.

If you or someone close to you has one or more temperament extremes, an awareness and  understanding about temperament can be life changing. It saved me as a young new mother. My son was meeting all the milestones, and he was a very sensitive and fussy baby. He had a hard time with transitions and changes. He was frequently uncomfortable with the feel of certain clothing, food textures, and with noise. He didn’t sleep well. Learning about temperament didn’t make him an easy baby. It did offer relief that made a huge difference for both of us. I have seen this again and again with people of all ages, individuals, couples, families and children. 

Learning that temperament diversity is normal can be validating, easing judgement and angst about our temperament extremes, those of our children, as well as other close family and friends. Our calmer state can allow us the space to deepen our understanding of individual temperaments and supports that are best fits.